Key first steps to acceptance (and ultimately happiness) ...
I'm not perfect.
I don't claim to be. After all, No one is ever gonna be perfect and who would want to be anyway? Part of the ride of life is making mistakes, getting things wrong and learning from our past actions and mistakes.
Accepting something does NOT equal perfection it's just a sign that you've learnt how to carry on and live your life regardless of the tests that have been sent your way.
For example. I lost my hair aged 12 to alopecia which was (obviously) devastating. It took me the longest time to come to terms with this. 10 years or so to be precise. But when I did accept it my life started to change for the better.
I remember having a conversation with a lady on Facebook a few years ago now. She told me that I was weak in having accepted my alopecia. That I basically should have been ashamed of myself for 'giving up' and 'letting' alopecia rule me. As I tried to explain to her that I hadn't given up and I certainly wasn't weak she became more and more aggressive and irritated by me. I'll be totally honest here it really pissed me off at the time and I was angry and felt insulted by her.
The more i sat and thought about it though i began to realise that she herself was struggling with her own alopecia and this was just her way of dealing with things. I couldn't be mad at her! That would have been cruel and unfair. We all deal with things differently and this was her way to deal with it. Who was i to judge even though she was (kind of) judging me?
The lady in question has since found the path to her peace of mind and acceptance through her own work in the medical side of alopecia and auto immune disease. It's nice to see her doing such great work and moving forward with her life.
The first key steps to acceptance below might not be for everyone but this is how it happened for me. If by sharing them it helps just one other sufferer out there then I happy ....
STEP 1: Realise it's not your fault
This is a hard one. We wonder what we did wrong and this can start to escalate on so many levels ...
- Did i over colour my hair?
- Did i eat the wrong types of foods?
- Was i bad in a past life!?
No, no and no. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault you lost your hair.
STEP 2: Understand you can't (as yet) control it
Maybe in the future you will be able to. Maybe in 10-20 years from now scientists will have found a pill or therapy that allows us to grow our hair back and keep it on our heads but right now it's just not an option.
Don't spend each day waiting to live. Now's the time for living!! Don't but your life on hold and please, PLEASE for the love of God don't tell yourself you can't do something because of your alopecia because your kidding yourself and probably cutting yourself and your gifts / abilities extremely short. You deserve much more than that. You were put on this earth for a reason after all ...
A friend and good client of mine chats with me often about strategies for coping with anxiety. I love her visits to my shop as she is a wealth of knowledge and i love learning about ways to cope with anxiety, stress and depression. Not because i think it will help my hair grow back but because I'm all set for helping my clients and if i can help them manage their own stress then i see that as a major positive. Here's what she says is paramount ...
Right here, right now, at this very moment in time - what is happening that you are anxious or worried about? (Hint: 9/10 times you can't answer) Because right at that moment, right in THE moment you have nothing to worry about.
All our worries are either in the past or in the near future. Stop and think about the here and now because lets face it, you can't change whats already happened in the past and events in the future can be handled and dealt with as they happen.
Worrying just STEALS YOUR JOY.
I'm not a massive fan of joy stealing ...
STEP 3: Believe in the fact that only you can make you happy.
It's so simple yet so incredibly true. When you realise that you don't need a man, shed loads of money, a brand new car, the latest designer hand bag etc to make you happy things all of a sudden start to click into place.
So, to re-cap
Next time you're having a shitty day review the above three facts/ steps. If they don't convince you then create your own three steps! There's no right or wrong it's what works for you.
PS: You can get a FREE copy of my e-guide by clicking on the image below :-)